Elder Holland uses the story of Brother Bowen as an example of how reconciliation is possible even after many years.

How was that reconciliation initiated?

What blessings came from this reconciliation?

‘In a matter of only a few weeks—doesn’t take long—Brother Bowen was fully engaged in Church activity and had made himself worthy to return to the temple. Soon enough he accepted the call to preside over a struggling little branch of 25 and grew it into a thriving congregation of well over 100. All of this took place nearly half a century ago, but the consequence of a son and a daughter’s ministering plea to their own father and that father’s willingness to forgive and move forward in spite of the imperfections of others has brought blessings that are still coming—and will come forever—to the Bowen family.’

Elder Holland says that ‘the miracle of reconciliation is always available to us’.

‘Surely each of us could cite an endless array of old scars and sorrows and painful memories that this very moment still corrode the peace in someone’s heart or family or neighborhood. Whether we have caused that pain or been the recipient of the pain, those wounds need to be healed so that life can be as rewarding as God intended it to be. Like the food in your refrigerator that your grandchildren carefully check in your behalf, those old grievances have long since exceeded their expiration date.’

Are there relationships in your life that need healing or reconciliation?

Are there any insights in the Bowen story that might help you heal your own relationships?

For me, one of the most powerful sections of this talk was when Elder Holland quoted the American clergyman Phillips Brooks:

‘So, as Phillips Brooks wrote: “You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day; you who are keeping wretched quarrels alive because you cannot quite make up your mind that now is the day to sacrifice your pride and [settle] them; you who are passing men sullenly upon the street, not speaking to them out of some silly spite … ; you who are letting … [someone’s] heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give … some day, … go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do.”’

How did that make you feel?

In the Relief Society book Daughters in my Kingdom (page 17) we read that the Prophet Joseph encouraged the Saints to be at peace with the Lord, with those around them and with themselves. He said:

‘…shall there be strife among you? I will not have it – you must repent and get the love of God…Not war, not jangle, not contradiction, but meekness, love, purity, these are the things that should magnify us.’

The Lord counseled, “My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened. Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” (D&C 64:8-9)

Is the Lord really saying that refusing to forgive another is a greater sin than the offense committed against us?

Yes.  In refusing to forgive another, we, in effect, attempt to deny the blessings of the Atonement to that person.

As Elder Bruce R McConkie explained: “It is not the sinner, the transgressor, the offender, the liar who is commanded to take the initiative in restoring peace and unity among brethren. If perchance he should do so, well and good, but the Lord commands the innocent person, the one who is without fault, the one who has been offended, to search out his brother and seek to repair the breech.” 

Also powerful was Elder Holland’s promise:

‘With the apostolic authority granted me by the Savior of the world, I testify of the tranquility to the soul that reconciliation with God and each other will bring if we are meek and courageous enough to pursue it.’

What does it mean when Elder Holland says that he testifies with ‘apostolic authority’?

Notice the requirement to be both meek and courageous – is that a contradiction?

Elder Holland concludes:

My beloved friends, in our shared ministry of reconciliation, I ask us to be peacemakers—to love peace, to seek peace, to create peace, to cherish peace. I make that appeal in the name of the Prince of Peace, who knows everything about being “wounded in the house of [His] friends” but who still found the strength to forgive and forget—and to heal—and be happy. For that I pray, for you and for me, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Take the time to consider whether there are things you need to forgive and forget so that you may find peace and be healed.