You can read or watch Sister Yee’s talk at Beauty for Ashes: The Healing Path of Forgiveness (churchofjesuschrist.org)

Sister Yee is Second Counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency.

Sister Yee began with the story of Abigail, David and Nabal. This story is found in 1 Samuel 25. Sister Yee observes that Abigail is a powerful type or symbol of Jesus Christ.

Just as Abigail was willing to take Nabal’s sin upon herself, so did the Savior—in an incomprehensible way—take upon Him our sins and the sins of those who have hurt or offended us. In Gethsemane and on the cross, He claimed these sins. He made a way for us to let go of a vengeful heart. That “way” is through forgiving—which can be one of the most difficult things we ever do and one of the most divine things we ever experience. On the path of forgiveness, Jesus Christ’s atoning power can flow into our lives and begin to heal the deep crevasses of the heart and soul.

In what way is forgiving one of the most divine things we ever experience?

President Russell M. Nelson has taught that the Savior offers us the ability to forgive:

“Through His infinite Atonement, you can forgive those who have hurt you and who may never accept responsibility for their cruelty to you.

“It is usually easy to forgive one who sincerely and humbly seeks your forgiveness. But the Savior will grant you the ability to forgive anyone who has mistreated you in any way. Then their hurtful acts can no longer canker your soul.”

The Lord counseled,

“My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened. Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” (D&C 64:8-9)

Is the Lord really saying that refusing to forgive another is a greater sin than the offense committed against us?

Yes. Truman Madsen suggests one reason for this: In refusing to forgive another, we, in effect, attempt to deny the blessings of the Atonement to that person.

As Elder Bruce R McConkie explained:

“It is not the sinner, the transgressor, the offender, the liar who is commanded to take the initiative in restoring peace and unity among brethren. If perchance he should do so, well and good, but the Lord commands the innocent person, the one who is without fault, the one who has been offended, to search out his brother and seek to repair the breech.” 

How easy is it to forgive those who don’t accept responsibility?

The Lord has said, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” The Lord requires us to forgive for our own good. But He does not ask us to do it without His help, His love, His understanding. Through our covenants with the Lord, we can each receive the strengthening power, guidance, and the help we need to both forgive and to be forgiven.

How do our covenants with the Lord help us to both forgive and be forgiven?

Sister Yee then shared that she grew up in a house where there was emotional and verbal mistreatment.

As my love for the Savior has grown, so has my desire to replace hurt and anger with His healing balm. It has been a process of many years, requiring courage, vulnerability, perseverance, and learning to trust in the Savior’s divine power to save and heal. I still have work to do, but my heart is no longer on a warpath. I have been given “a new heart”—one that has felt the deep and abiding love of a personal Savior, who stayed beside me, who gently and patiently led me to a better place, who wept with me, who knew my sorrow.

What does it mean to be given a new heart? How do we get a new heart?

Elder Richard G. Scott said: “You cannot erase what has been done, but you can forgive. Forgiveness heals terrible, tragic wounds, for it allows the love of God to purge your heart and mind of the poison of hate. It cleanses your consciousness of the desire for revenge. It makes place for the purifying, healing, restoring love of the Lord.”

How does forgiving heal the one who forgives?

To all who are brokenhearted, captive, bruised, and perhaps blinded by hurt or sin, He offers healing, recovery, and deliverance. I testify that that healing and recovery He offers is real. The timing of that healing is individual, and we cannot judge another’s timing. It is important to allow ourselves the necessary time to heal and to be kind to ourselves in the process. The Savior is ever merciful and attentive and stands ready to provide the succor we need.

In the April 2022 General Conference, Elder Patrick Kearon said:

“Perhaps some of you, however, consider the accounts of survivors, and your soul cries out that you are living a survival story right now as a victim of abuse, neglect, bullying, domestic violence, or any suffering of this kind. You are in the midst of your own desperate attempt to survive a situation that feels very much like a disastrous shipwreck or a promising mission suddenly aborted. Will you ever be rescued; will you make it through your own survival story?

The answer is yes. You can survive. You have in fact already been rescued; you have already been saved—by the One who has suffered the very torment you are suffering and endured the very agony you are enduring.”

Jesus Christ is your personal Messiah, your loving Redeemer and Savior, who knows the pleadings of your heart. He desires your healing and happiness. He loves you. He weeps with you in your sorrows and rejoices to make you whole. May we take heart and take His loving hand that is ever extended as we walk the healing path of forgiveness is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

What counsel or comfort do you take from Sister Yee’s talk?

NB: Passages in italics are direct quotes from Sister Yee’s talk.